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The Joys of Being a Step Father

By: Elizabeth Grace - Updated: 28 Jan 2014 | comments*Discuss
 
The Joys Of Being A Step Father

There are few endeavours more rewarding than being a parent and developing a meaningful relationship with a child. When someone first becomes a mother or father, they cannot possibly anticipate all that is before them, but almost all parents will tell you that the joys far outweigh the difficulties. Stepparents enjoy many of the same benefits of parenting as natural parents do – winning the love and respect of the children in their families.

Building Bonds with Your Stepchildren

Step fathers can develop close and loving relationships with their stepchildren, but it takes time for both generations to grow close and feel truly bonded. Taking time to play can help kids to look at their step fathers as more than just wage earners and disciplinarians, so men who read to their stepchildren, take them on outings, and engage them in discussions about their interests are doing all of the right things to let the children know that they are valued.

The Rewards of Fatherhood

Raising a child is a lot of work, to be certain, but children are fun, too. They’ve not yet learned to take themselves too seriously and have a wonderful ability to take pleasure in the simple things in life. Once they’ve had a child, many people say that being a parent brings them more happiness than any other aspect of their lives. Fathers and stepfathers who build strong, loving relationships with their children can take pride in knowing that they’re helping the kids to become happy, healthy, well-rounded individuals who’ll have the skills necessary to find success in the world. Additionally, fatherhood has other, more tangible rewards; at least once a year, someone is sure to provide a gift of a terribly gaudy necktie!

Sharing Love and Wisdom with Stepchildren

Passing wisdom from parent to child is one of the cornerstones of fatherhood. Children learn a great deal from the important adults in their lives, and the words and actions of a loved and well-respected parent can stay with children all through their lives. Because their influence is so great, every parent needs to monitor their behaviour to be sure that they are providing their children with the type of examples that they hope for them to emulate. Children flourish when they feel loved, so parents should freely express their affection for their kids, not just when they are babies, but all throughout their lives. Encouraging words and warm embraces are not only heartening for a child, but they can make a parent feel pretty good, too.

How to be a Good Step Father

While each parent is a unique individual, there are a number traits that good stepfathers have in common. Accepting and appreciating each child for their individual gifts is sure to win children’s respect and admiration. Also, good step-fathers make room in their everyday lives to nurture their children’s intellectual and creative development, involving them in conversations and asking for their input and opinions. Good parents, both fathers and mothers, encourage kids to share their feelings and never minimise the emotions of their kids, instead providing them with love and support. Finally, the best stepfathers openly express their love and make the effort to avoid creating a competitive atmosphere in which the child feels torn between their loyalty to their step father and their natural father. Kids should be allowed to enjoy healthy, loving relationships with all of their parents and stepparents, without fear that their feelings may be troublesome to the adults that matter most to them.

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People looking at resources like this really need help. These materials present just obvious general knowledge and are rather useless for these who already met difficulties. There is no answer for one simple question - who benefits from these attempts of shared parenting when the child is set to abuse the new partner and her/his children, to smuggle things, to spy, to blackmail. The child is definitely not benefiting because one day they have to struggle rejection, including rejection of their own father. Being on a mission to please their jealous abusive mother a child produces nothing but destruction and pain. This is a process of putting a step parent on an emotional hook and then blackmails them and their family for the rest of their lives turning them into a nightmare. Only one person benefits - a mother who drinks, neglects the child, gets free of charge babysitting and keeps appearance of being a mother often to stay of work. There has to be information about signs of such unhealthy situations and assistance with drawing a clear borderline when a step child and his/her mother should not be allowed to ruin lives of the new family, particularly other children and grandchildren. Divorce is not a pleasant experience, but there has to be a talk about importance of family values. I was a single mother 10 years and that was a happy family life. I married and my step-child made it a horrow. Shared parenting and step-parenting is made a new social obligation while the signs of healthy or dysfunctional family are completely left aside. As a result life is a never ending divorce with nether family functioning properly. I have asked my step-daughter to see her father outside our home and I hope never see her again. That was the best thing I have done since I met my husband. I can finally see some light in future. 7 years of abuse, blackmail and never ending depression thinking I have to grow old next to somebody who takes a pleasure of abusing me above anything else in life.
anette - 29-Oct-13 @ 2:06 PM
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