Home > Everyday Life > Including Everyone

Including Everyone

By: Elizabeth Grace - Updated: 5 May 2020 | comments*Discuss
Family Children Team Relationships

Stepfamilies can be wonderful blendings, but it may take a while for the individuals to mesh well.

In the beginning, many members of stepfamilies feel as though they are two separate groups living together, rather than a single family unit.

Building Strong Family Bonds

When people with children marry, they may assume that the kids will naturally gravitate toward one another and feel like siblings in no time at all. In reality, though, most kids take a while to feel truly connected to their step-siblings, but if their parents create home environments that are conducive to openness and sharing, the children will likely grow close to one another.

Parents and stepparents need to be aware of their children’s feelings and take steps to see that each child gets the time and attention that they need. Some kids do best when left to their own devices while others may require a little nudge now and then, but when children feel that they are valued and appreciated, they will blossom not only as individuals, but also as part of a unified family group.

Fairness and Equity

In all likelihood, the blending of stepfamilies requires some lifestyle changes for all members. The children of each individual parent came into the blended family having been accustomed to a certain set of house rules and expectations, but when the two groups become one, they must learn to live together, which requires some level of compromise for everyone.

The most important factors for making everyone feel that they matter is for parents and stepparents to ask for each child’s opinions, and then take those suggestions into consideration when implementing new rules. House rules need to apply to all of the children in the home, and each child should anticipate the same rewards and disciplinary measures, should they fail to comply with their parents’ expectations. Most kids aren’t fond of rules, but they will accept them most readily when they feel that they have been well thought out and applied to all family members equally.

Family Fun for All

Families tend to participate in a wide variety of activities, depending on the ages and individual interests of their children. Additionally, many families have well established habits regarding the things that they find entertaining – some enjoy bike riding while others prefer to visit museums – but when the group unites, they need to invite their new members to join them as they pursue their hobbies. Ideally, each family member is given the opportunity to introduce the others to the things that they enjoy so that everyone not only learns about one another, but develops shared interests.

Parents and stepparents can promote family unity by scheduling activities that they know the children will enjoy, being sure to see that each child’s interests are represented a fair amount of the time. Given the opportunity, most children will grow to love their stepparents and step-siblings, but in order for them to be happy in their families, kids need to know that they are valued both for their individuality and for their contribution to the family as a whole.

Website Design and Hosting

If you are looking to increase brand awareness, generate web enquiries and/or generate online sales ISD will create an affordable, mobile friendly, secure website - check out In Studio Design.

Based in the UK, skilled in WordPress, web design, ecommerce and illustration, they will build your site quickly, host it on a high performance server, and make it SEO friendly.

You might also like...
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
Hi Im looking to find a step parent group to talk to and vent. I'm a step parent to 3 children. 1 of which is not a biological child of my partner. The ex is and has been very difficult for years using the children as weapons and also coaching the children to tell lies and cultivating stories about their dad. She s had 4 partners one after the other who were all allowed move in straight away. She is very manipulating. Her behaviour can switch when it suits. I can't and never have trusted her on account of all these actions so when an excuse comes along I find it very difficult to believe anything she says. I get a hard time then. I've always had the children's interests at heart but she hasn't with her own children.If I have a bad day I can get a hard time but when it involves her and the kids she'll get what she wants. She has proven time and time again that she's told lies to manipulate situations. Can i not just dislike this parent? Not trust her? Based on all the previous actions.
Stepm - 5-May-20 @ 12:30 PM
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice...
(never shown)
(never shown)
(never shown)
(never shown)
Enter word: