Trying to Impress your Step Child

Some stepparents try to win the affection of their stepchildren by plying them with extravagant gifts, and while such displays may impress the kids in the short term, it is only by working to develop a genuine connection that stepparents will truly be able to earn the love of their spouse’s children.
The things that really leave an impression on children relate to how they feel that they are perceived and whether or not they feel loved and appreciated.Avoiding the Temptation to Exaggerate
When a stepparent first meets their partner’s kids, it is perfectly normal that they may be a bit nervous about the children’s reaction. It is important that the kids like their parent’s partner, which can make it tempting for the adult to say or do things that may be out of character for them in the hope that they will make a good impression on the kids. Unfortunately, this tactic rarely works and instead of improving their status with the children, being phony is likely to give the kids the feeling that their stepparent is not trustworthy. It is far better for stepparents to present themselves in a realistic light, allowing the children to get to know them and make their own judgments.Gifts Galore
Most people enjoy getting gifts, but there is no need to shower stepchildren with material things in order to win their affection. That’s not to say that children do not like being indulged once in a while, but it is not even close to being the most important thing that stepparents can do to win the hearts of their step-kids.Children have an innate sense of truth and can readily spot insincerity, so stepparents cannot substitute oodles of gifts for genuine interest and get away with it. Children need caring and attention, both of which require more time than money, and true bonds develop gradually over a period of time. As much as stepparents may want their stepchildren to take an instant liking to them, patience and consistency are required.
Making a Genuine Impression
So if gifts and outings aren’t in order, what does it take to impress children? The answer is quite simple. Kids who feel that their stepparents have a true interest in getting to know them and wish to be a part of their lives will be impressed. Kids who feel appreciated will be impressed. Stepparents who pass out hugs and sincere compliments will impress their step-kids, as will those who celebrate the kids’ triumphs and offer a shoulder when things don’t go their way.Parenting is a long-term commitment with its share of ups and downs, so when they take on the role of parents, stepparents need to be prepared to make themselves available to meet the needs of their families for years to come. Small children have very specific needs, as do older kids, teens, and even adult stepchildren.
A parent’s job is never really done, as they strive to provide their children with love, guidance, and support, all throughout their lives, and stepparents, who stand with their spouses and welcome the joys and responsibilities of parenthood, take on that role too, knowing how difficult it can sometimes be. Now that’s impressive!
Re: Accepting your Feelings as a Step Parent
I'm really struggling with my feelings at the moment and feel I have no one to turn to. I've been with my partner…
Re: Step parenting Children with Special Needs
I have an 8yo s-kid with DS. Every other weekend is miserable. If you are dating someone with a disabled kid…
Re: Dealing with Feelings of Resentment as a Stepparent
I wish I found this site before and could of read about other step parents very similar…
Re: Dealing with Teenage Stepchildren
My now fiancée have live together for just over two years and she has 4 children. Her daughter and oldest son are now grown…
Re: Helping Step Children Cope with the Death of a Parent
My fiance of 3 years passed away a week ago unexpectedly at 43. We weren't able to get married…
Re: Step parenting Children with Special Needs
Hello. I’d like some advice. My husband and I got married 8m ago and have been dating for a few years. Because…
Re: Accepting your Feelings as a Step Parent
Hi, I feel very alienated from my Step Children, a girl of 29 who is immature for her age, whilst she is changing…
Re: Dealing with Teenage Stepchildren
I recently married a man with a 18yo son and 13 yo daughter. My previous husband was KIA 15 years ago. We had 2 children who…
Re: Dealing with Disrespectful Stepchildren
I need some advice. So me and my partner have recently taken on his son full time and this have been for just over 2…
Re: Dealing with Disrespectful Stepchildren
I’ve been engaged for about 1 year and a couple of months now , & i have a stepdaughter & i have no kids of my own !…